Loved and Lost Partners
by romancegirl98
Summary: This is a one-shot about a talk between Tony and Agent Borin...Borin gets Tony to talk to her because he knows how it feels like to loose a loved person...It is just something I missed on the latest episode and this story just popped into my head...


**So...This one-shot about a talk between Tony and Agent Borin...It's something I missed on the latest episode, so I just wrote it down...Borin finds out about Ziva's necklace and gets Tony to talk to her...**

**I hope you like it and I'm really sorry for any mistakes...**

**I don't own NCIS or the characters and I don't make money of FanFiction...**

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Loved and Lost Partners

Tony is sitting at his desk and is actually supposed to work, but once again he is distracted by the empty desk in front of him. It has got a bit better, he can sleep again and does not feel like his life has purpose anymore – or at least not all the time - but there are still these moments…These moments when he really misses her and when the feeling of having made the biggest mistake in his life creeps up again…Honestly he does not believe that this is going to change anytime soon because she is still too important to him…Besides there is still the hope that she'll come back to him. That she comes back when she has everything figured out and when she is ready for the life she belongs to…

Suddenly Tony is torn out of his thought by a loud, but also concerned voice: "Tony!?" Slowly he comes down to earth again and realizes that Agent Borin is standing in front of his desk. She looks expectantly at him, obviously waiting for an answer. He hasn't even noticed her walk over, to say nothing of her asking him a question. He must be that lost in his thoughts that he completely blocked everything out. Apparently he also didn't react to her saying his name, otherwise she wouldn't be concerned and also a bit annoyed.

Of course Tony immediately tries to downplay the whole situation and to hide the fact that he really was thinking of Ziva. He does not want her to think that he is that sentimental about the fact that Ziva left. By Borin's look he can tell that she is going to ask why he didn't realized anything, so he quickly says with his Dinnozo-grin: "Eh…I was working…you know thinking about the case…you should try that, it's helpful….By the way what do you want?" While Tony talks he picks up some sheets of paper and looks expectantly at her when he poses his question. Borin just looks at him with hoisted eyebrows, clearly not buying his excuse. It was obvious that he was thinking about something more important and since he looked at Ziva's old desk, she guesses that it has something to do with the "lost partner". Despite she decides not to bother him because she knows how annoying this can be. Instead she just focus on the reason why she came to his desk in the first time and says: "I asked if you had a paperclip!?" She motions to the documents in her hand and waits for an answer.

"Seriously? A paperclip? Why don't you just take one from Gibbs's desk?", Tony asks trying to annoy her. Borin steps forward and leans over his desk so that their noses are almost touching. She really is not in the mood to play games right now and just wants one damn paperclip. "Because there is none, Dinozzo!", she says and Tony backs off a little, surprised by her reaction. He realizes that it's not the right time to play his games, so he just says: "There should be one in there…", and motions to the drawer of his desk. Borin backs off and walks around his desk to finally get that paperclip. Tony starts to actually work and goes through the files that lay in front of him. Borin opens the drawer and just as she is about to close it again, something attracts her attention. There is a golden necklace laying in one of the boxes and as soon as she sees the "Star of David", she knows which necklace this is. Borin noticed this necklace the first time she met Ziva and then realized that she always wears it. She never saw without it. And now it is laying in Tony's desk next to a photo of a younger himself.

Meanwhile Tony realized that Borin stopped dead in her tracks and as soon as he turns his head, he sees the cause of her reaction. _Damn! I should have thought about that…, _Tony thinks to himself and quickly slams shut the drawer. He turns his attention back to his files and pretends like nothing happened. Borin just stares at him for a short moment and tries to understand what she just saw. She always knew that the two partners had a special connection. The tension when they were in one room, was obvious and it was also obvious that they have feelings for each other. She never knew if there actually was something between them, but she decides to leave it alone – or at least for now…

Three hours later:

The two agents are sitting in the car on the way to a suspect. As Gibbs ordered her to go with Dinozzo, she wanted to protest at first because she definitely can't bear his movie quotes today, but then she saw the opportunity to talk to him about Ziva and she accepted. She followed Tony to his car and since then not a word was said. Maybe he sensed that something is bothering her or he is stuck with his own problems, but it is unusual quite. After some more minutes of silence, Borin decides that it is time to talk because honestly this is getting a bit awkward. "Soo…", she starts, taking a deep breath, "How 're you doing?" Either surprised to hear her voice or surprised about her question, Tony quickly turns his head and looks at her. For a short moment he does not know what to say and just stammers some senseless words: "Eh…I…uh…äh…" He quickly recovers and then says: "I'm good!" and asks innocently: "Why do you ask?" Borin knows exactly what he is trying to do, but she is not letting him go that easily. She always did the same thing, but she knows that not talking about your feelings and problems can cause serious damage. If you just pretend that everything fine, nobody can help you.

"Oh come on…You lost a team member and a good friend…I mean Ziva isn't dead, but she is also not here, right?" Tony sense where this is going and tries to get the attention away from him and to the whole team. "We all did…it was her decision to leave…nobody like it, but we can't change that…", Tony answers, but does not look at her. He should have known that this isn't going to work. Not with Borin. "Yeah sure…but she was more to you wasn't she?", Borin asks carefully and brings in the "Star of David"- necklace, "Besides…you know that I saw her necklace in your drawer?" Borin knows how hard it can be to talk to somebody, it's even harder if you barely know the person, but sometimes it's also the better option. She doubts that he talked with anybody. Maybe with Gibbs, but definitely not about what really happened. She just wants to help him feel better, so she takes a deep breath and starts to tell him her story. "I know how it is to lose somebody you care about…somebody you never wanted to lose…you feel like nothing has a purpose anymore and everything you see or do reminds you of that person…I never talked with somebody and I experience what this does with you…so…you have the chance now…"

For the first during their conversation, Tony looks at her and he can see that she means what she said. She has tears in her eyes that will never fall and he knows that she is right. Borin silently prays that he accepts his offer because to tell him that wasn't easy for her. She lost the person she cared about and there is not a single chance that this person is ever coming back. It is simply impossible. For a while nobody says anything and Borin starts to think that Tony won't talk, but then he does. "There are these moments when I just miss her…It is just not the same at work, you know, we always joked about McGee or just annoyed each other…It made work a bit more bearable and you didn't take everything that personal…it was a distraction, and sometimes we also talked…I mean really talked about serious stuff, things that matter…and now all this is gone…I trusted her with my life, I still do, but she is gone…we know things about each other nobody else does…" For a moment Tony pauses and takes a deep breath before he continues. "When her father died, she became distant and had secrets, but it also brought us closer together…now nothing of that is left…"

While Tony talks he looks out of the window and remembers all the funny times, the jokes and the tension, their glares and their fights…Borin cannot help but think about her own memories and the tears dwell up again. "Yeah…I know what you mean…", she sighs and glances over to Tony who is still looking out of the window. "What happened in Israel? I know you were looking for her and obviously you found her…otherwise you wouldn't be here and you wouldn't have her necklace…", Borin asks. "I search month, but I just couldn't find her…but eventually I tracked her down to the house where she was born…she didn't wanted to be found…I tried to convince her to come back to D.C., but she didn't want to…she thinks that she caused to much pain by her actions and she does not want to go on like that…She never wanted to be who she is, but her father decided for her…and now she is blaming herself for that…I tried to make clear that I would be there for her, but she needs to do this alone…and now…everybody acts like she is dead…actually you are the first one to say her name…", Tony explains and his voice is only above a whisper. Slowly Borin understands his behaviour. He truly loves Ziva and she can only imagine how hard it was to leave her in Israel. "What about the necklace? She gave it to you?", Borin asks still missing the explanation for it. "I found it in my pocket…she must have put it there when we…" Tony almost said that they kissed, but he can stop himself from saying the words just before they leave his mouth. He wants this to be his little secret, but Borin know. He doesn't not need to actually say the words. The smile that is playing around his lips says more than thousand words. "You know that she loves you, right?", Borin says with a small smile on her lips, "the way she looked at you…you could see it her eyes…and in yours…you've always had a special connection and you clearly have feelings for each other…you can't deny that anymore and something like that is unique…I know what I'm talking about…I found this special person, but I'll never have the chance to spend my life with him…you do…and believe me, Ziva will come back when she is ready…and then…nothing in this entire world that can separate you again…" With these words, both agents turn their attention back to the case and it is like nothing's ever happened.

**The End**

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**So...I hope you enjoyed it and please review! I always appreciate your opinion...**


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